being a 21

 hello, ive been having the urge to write and log into my blog for a couple of days and finally i decided to really do it now.

i turned 21 on march 11 2025, i dont know what to say or what ive learnt up untill this age, it feels like too much data already but i know that one fact kept repeating itself ever since i became 21 and it's the fact that i since march until today am in the age as my darling when we knew each other, i was 19 at that time pushing 20 hehe. 

i dont think i have felt "love" as i did to him and with him, it was a very otherworldly connection that we both had for each other, fast forward today i dont think there is any chance for us to reconnect, he's french and i am saudian, and speaking of which being someone very ambitious and as a woman that... really is challenging my family seems to place many limits on me pursuing my career, chasing love simply isnt an option for me when i have to fight to rightfully exist in the world.


i hate to say it i hate to think of it i hate to give a way within my brain but why? why i? when i fought my own demons to be better to contirbute better to live better but i always have my family in my way of having my life the way i want to have it, just a question in which i hope to get answered to soon, IS MY REDEMPTION NEAR? WILL I LIVE? WILL I LIVE?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

facing life struggles

 Good evening/morning wherever you might be dear reader. in this post, I'd like to discuss the feeling that you get when you experience something new or something you've always wanted to do but were a bit shy to stand out or gut up to do it,  I'm sure you know the feeling, as I assume all of us have experienced it at least once in their life. I have experienced it more than once as I am a lover of that adrenalin hit you get when you are reckless sometimes, the latest one was when i did my own signature on a formal paper I've always been a bit shy about seeming too proud of putting my name in everything relating to me but this week I believe i outcome that fear showing all the department i majored at how serious i am, a wonderful experience to be frank. one thing that truly makes me punches the air at the start of every semester is how my aireheaded academic advisor behaves, she be acting as if she know her students well while in reality she's only getting in our way...
Read more

Hater, jealousy and whatever's negative

 greetings to you all beauties, this is my first authentic blog post .. like ever, i've had the desire to start a blog and put my most logical and great idea out there so here i am. Today I'll be talking about something i've personally been facing tremendously in the last two years alongside the signs on why i do, you see being different in a place where everybody is the same in everything sucks so you can also imagine what those robots would do when someone among them arises with this spark and strength or someone who is purely kind and sweet or, famously, someone who is a 10/10 undeniable beauty tall and amazing physique or figure, many people would hate on such people, especially in the mentioned societies, and hate would absolutely come in various numbers of ways it could be in gaslighting the meaning person into making them think that they are loud, dry-talkers, ugly voices, doesn't know how to speak and people don't like them or find them "weird" whe...
Read more